Dear Abba (Father)

Dear Father,

As I thought about what I was going to say for some reason calling You Father comes out more naturally than calling You "Dad." Why is that tho? I want to become more comfortable with calling You my dad & not just knowing You as my Father in Heaven. Me calling You "Dad" makes our relationship more personal. & that's what I want. I want to trust You like I trust my dad on Earth. Talk to You more than I talk to my dad on Earth. & feel the love that I know You have for me just like my dad on Earth. I know You already know but I'm the only girl in Carlton's eyes besides my mom. So I know he loves me a lot. But he fails to express himself & show it. & it makes me fail to see the love that You show me. Which makes me also fail to see myself the way You see me at times. You look beyond my imperfections, where that's all I ever see. You didn't need a reason to choose me & all I can think of is "Why me?" Why didn't You give up on me a long time ago & just let me go? How You could love someone like me so much is something I guess I'll never know. That's why I want to please You so much but you already told me it's Your grace that is sufficient enough. & Grace meaning "unmerited favor" it is definitely enough. Why I take it for granted at times, I truly don't know. Because everything You've ever done You truly didn't have to & that I know. But it's something about the love You have for me that makes You put up with all my junk. My Father, My Father... You created me with Your hands. My life. My journey is all apart of Your plans. The good, the bad, the ugly.. You've been right there to see me thru. Another quality like Carlton because he did too. & my biological father I wonder sometimes what he's like. I wonder will I ever know his name or what he likes. But that's totally up to You, because with You I might. But I trust You enough to know that what's best You will make happen for Your child. Because I am Your Child. Even when I don't seem to act like it. I am still Yours & You are mine. It's hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that My Father is the King of Kings. Lord of Lords. The beginning & the end. Jehovah Jireh. The one & only true & living God. That people from every generation, denomination, & background shall praise & worship You. & You being this great King makes lil 'ol me Your great princess. Which is both a huge privilege & responsibility. But I truly believe I'm down for the cause & ready to answer the call over my life. You've given me chance & chance and I truly believe it's time for me to go after what's mine. You are truly the best & I'm so very blessed to call you mines. My DAD! (We working on that thing slowly but surely I'll get there) 

Sincerely, Yours truly