I'm going thru surgery. Some days are easier than others. & some days are really hard. The reason why I say I'm going thru surgery & having a heart transplant because "It Is What It Is" & that's what it feels like. OUTPATIENT SURGERY. I'm free to leave once my surgery is complete. Which gives me the option to return to whatever SICKENSS that is out of my body. I am speaking SPIRITUAL (I hope that you caught that) so everything that I say is not to be taken literal. SPIRITUALLY I'M SICK! & my issue is of the heart which means I need a heart transplant. I belive this is so real to the point that I actually feel the pain in the natural/physical.
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My heart hurts at times & aches for love.
The authentic, genuine, forgiving, LOVE from above.
I didn't plan for this to be a riddle. I didn't mean to rhyme my words.
But regardless of how they come out, I know that they must be heard.
This heart transplant I speak about is not something that has just occurred
But a cry & whisper from God that's finally been heard.
I hear you my Father, I HEAR YOU loud & clear.
But wait hold on, I also hear the sound of FEAR.
I hear the sound of DOUBT saying, "April, You're no good!"
You're just a country girl who LOVES being in the hood
Chillen with hood niggas, doing hood girls things.
But WAIT, HOLD ON this all has to be a dream.
This is NOT your PURPOSE nor your SUCCESS!
God has plans to PROSPER you NOT bring about STRESS
Or MESS, or UNHAPPINESS, or HEART BREAK & PAIN!
But like Betty Wright said, "No Pain ; No Gain!"
So about this heart transplant, YES! It has to take place
God has got to get me to a better space
A better spot, A better relationship with Him.
Because although it's still cloudy the light shines very dim
so I'm still gonna smile during my surgery.
&& IT'S ALL DUE TO HIM!!!
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7.3.15
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I called this "Heart Transplant" because I honestly do think that is what God is doing in my life right now. I have literally like I stated before I've been feeling a CERTAIN type of pain..NOT EXTREME. But to me it's like the tugging of GOD on MY HEART!
God is changing my heart. Making me fit for His use. God knows just like in the military here on Earth, in order for me to be a great Soldier my heart has to be on point. Right now, I'm in TRAINING & PREPARATION. I'M SICK. I'M BROKEN. I NEED A HEALING. I NEED DELIVERANCE. I NEED A NEW HEART! So many of us need new hearts. We've all experienced some type of lost, trauma, and/or experience that has ultimately left our heart in an unstable state. & unless you've recieved the PROPER healing your heart will stay in the condition that it is in. But why not receive a heart transplant from the BEST physician, Dr, heart surgeon possible. Only God can take away the pain/trauma that you & your heart has experienced. It's up to us whether or not we want to be healed & made whole. The CHOICE is YOURS! & as much as God is constantly pulling & tugging at us & at our hearts it's not until WE give Him the permission to perform the surgery that He steps in. (Really like a real Dr, I LOVE IT!) God is so amazingly amazing! & I know you may be feeling like there's way too much work that needs to be done but if you ever need a friendly reminder PLEASE..take a look at me! PERFECTLY IMPERFECTLY! FLAWED BY ALL MEASURES! But still FIT for the KING'S USE as long as I let Him. I'm choosing a different life. A different way of living. I want to be made WHOLE! COMPLETE IN HIS IMAGE!
