2013 what can I say? This year has been full of ups & downs. Tests & trials. Blessing & lessons. New beginnings & endings. & everything else in between. To sum it all up tho, I have really enjoyed this year. I have grown so much that it really has blown my own mind. I have definitely learned some life lessons. These are just a few that I would like to share with you!
Lesson 001:
Let Go & Let GOD
In the beginning of this year, I made it a goal to get rid of some things that hindered my walk with the Lord & things that could hinder my progress period. Being that I didn't have a job in the beginning of the year, I knew that I had to put down marijuana. This was NOT such an easy task at first because marijuana was something I did EVERYDAY. It was my getaway drug that I would go to whenever I needed a "pick me up." So deciding to leave my drug alone was a decision that came with a lot of prayer asking God to just take the taste away from me. I must say, that He eventually did. Super Bowl Night 2013 was the last night that I inhaled marijuana. & because I was becoming closer to the Lord that night that I smoked I felt so bad that I just cried out to Him afterwards asking that He would please help me get rid of this addiction. HE DID IT! February 4, 2014 Lord willing will make a year that I have been clean. I'm very proud to say that. Because not only am I drug free but I am alcohol free & club free. I cut out a lot of things in 2013 that would stop me from going where God wanted me to go. & I am STILL letting a lot of things go also including people. That means friends & people that I associated myself with. I've learned that where I'm going everyone can't go. & it's best that when the Lord starts dealing with you to remove things and/or people it's best to just go ahead & do it when He tells you to! Because He will have His way one way or another.
Lesson 002:
Testing = Blessing
So I've stopped smoking, drinking, clubbing & started to remove people out of my life that were no good for me. After following this young lady on Twitter, she was constantly posting about this Silent Challenge that she was going to go on. I believe in February she did it. She blogged about it & when I read her post I was definitely intrigued. I asked her what it consisted of & she told me, "Disconnecting from social media and any other form of communication that you used in order to let the Lord speak to you & for you to be able to hear Him more clearly." I was definitely wanting to hear from the Lord at this point in my life so I was down for the challenge. I began the Silent Challenge in March & I did it for 28 days. No Facebook, Twitter, and my phone was already off. I wasn't working so I would spend my days praying, worshipping, studying, & writing. During these days, I was CONSTANTLY being tested. I had been learning that everything we go thru is just a test from the Lord. A test of our faith. It seemed that after I learned this bit of information, the test were coming one by one. At the end of my 1st Silent Challenge, God had blessed me with a job! Blessing #1. Now that I was working, I knew that it would be kinda hard to hear from the Lord as I was before when I wasn't working. But I kept my bible on me & would get up an hour early just to listen to Joyce Meyer in the morning before work. One of the people that I had cut off was my ex. The last time I seen him was on my birthday which was in January. He had contacted me & had asked me to come & see him all during the time I was on my Silent Challenge. Every time he called, I passed the test! THANK GOD! (Because it was definitely not with my own strength.) When I started working though, I would run into him all the time. I would talk to him & even rode around with him a couple of times but we didn't have sex. I was passing the test still! I was tested by him, another ex, & even females. God wanted to see just how serious I was about my walk with Him. It was not easy! The old me would've definitely gave in to temptation & when it came to the females talking junk I definitely would've been fighting. But this April was a new creature. I had been learning so much! God was convicting & converting me all the time! & I was happy. It was hard but it was so worth it because in June, God blessed me with a 2010 Nissan Altima that I'm able to pay the car note on. James 1: 2-4 says [Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.] I thank God for His word because it gave me a much better understanding & allowed me to praise my way thru my tests & trials. Not only was I blessed with material things, but I was being blessed spiritually all the time. I was blessed with PEACE, LOVE, JOY! & those things are far more better than anything materialistic that I could ever receive.
Lesson 003:
We fall down.....
So by this time, I am just amazed at God and all that He is doing in my life. He was definitely showing up & showing out. Everything seemed to be going perfectly fine until that one Summer day! So the ex that I had cut off, I was still seeing him every once in awhile when I was around town but by this time I wasn't even talking to him. I remember after going to church one Sunday, some friends & I were having a water fight & he stopped to talk to me & I just dismissed him with the wave of a hand. I thought that I was soooo over him. (I guess not) Because one day, as I was strolling thru his neighborhood showing off in my new car, I saw him & I stopped. & when I stopped I tried to play it off, I was like "Hey, what's up!" & immediately started talking to a mutual friend that we had. He was just looking at me like, "REALLY?" So we eventually started conversing which led to him getting in the car & telling me how he wanted to chill with me & he missed me. After that day, I started coming around more & more and we eventually ended up having sex. (SHOCKING...sikeeee) So here I was at the 6 month mark of being abstinent and I had failed the test miserably! My friends were upset with me, I was upset with me, & I knew God was upset with me. Sinning is such a conscience effort. I mean I honestly knew that every time I was around him, no matter how many times MY MOUTH said "NO" my flesh was screaming, "YES." As Matthew 26:41 says, [41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”] I wasn't watching or praying as hard as I should have been because I fell right into the enemies' trap & laid down there until one sad day. After not talking to him for a couple of weeks, (because I had changed my number) he contacted me thru Facebook. Same lines as always & I fell right for it as always! So that following Monday, I decided to go chill with him for a bit after work. I had a doctor's appointment that day & I started my new job so I decided to go chill with him in my down time. When I went to the doctor that day, I knew that something was not right with my body. So when I was there all I was thinking was that, "I hope I'm not pregnant." (Yes, we were having unprotected sex) The news that I got from the doctor that day, broke my heart worse than the news of being pregnant. I honestly wished I had of been pregnant, instead of having an STD. When the nurse told me, I wanted to cry! It took all of me not to sit in that office & just ball my eyes out. Here I was AGAIN! In a stupid predicament because of my OWN stupid choices. When I left, I went over there to confront him & he actually tried to lie! I was like, "SERIOUSLY!" I was PISSED! But that day, I really had to accept the fact that this man is just not a real MAN. & it's best that I move on. God had way too much in store for me & that was His way of separating him from me without it being way worse.
Lesson 004:
We get up....
After lots of tears & I do mean lots. After several talks with my cousin & other women of God in my life, I was ready to finally let this thing go & move on with my life. God had been way too good to me for me to sit there & let the enemy take away from me everything that I had achieved! I was going to beat this thing. ENOUGH was ENOUGH! Even in my mess, God was still blessing me! He blessed me with a second job that I had been praying for & was now putting people in my life to help me pursue my passion & purpose. A couple of girls that I had worked with & one I went to school with had come up with a non-profit organization called, "Reality of The Chocolate." Now I kinda knew that my purpose was to help young women but I was completely sold on what it was that God wanted me to do. So after talking to one of them & asking if I could be down, not shortly after I was now the 3rd member of ROTC_girls! I was super excited. After our first meeting & getting things established I just knew that this is where I needed to be. God had removed all of the people who no longer served a purpose in my life & had now gave me 2 new sisters to encourage me on my new journey! Not only did I find out my true purpose, I have definitely found my passion. & helping women is definitely it! I was so amazed at how God how turned my situation around in less than a month! I was over-filled with joy & the more I seeked Him the more He continued to manifest Himself in my life MORE & MORE!
Lesson 005:
CHOSEN
I had praised my way into 2013 & I'm getting ready to praise my way out! I praise Him thru the good & the bad. God is so worthy & deserving of all my praise. No man on Earth will look at someone with all the flaws I have still CHOOSE ME! God still chooses me to do His will. He still chooses me to do His work. He still chooses to love all up on me. He still chooses to show His self to me. He still chooses to bless me in spite of me. He still chooses to allow me to be His CHOSEN child! I don't take it lightly or for granted at all. & because He chose to die for me, I choose to LIVE 4 HIM! I owe God my life! & I know that. He could've been done away with me but He hasn't given up on me yet! & forever grateful to be HIS CHOSEN ONE!
Matthew 22:14 14 For many are called, but few are chosen.
For some reason the above scripture was in my spirit & I wondered why. That is a very common verse, you hear all the time but I didn't know what it really meant. So as I read, I see that God was calling all the people to the wedding. & just like us today, so many of them were doing their own things. So when it was time for the wedding to come there was a guest sitting there with no garments on. So the King, asked, "How did you get in here without any garments?" This guest was speechless. So he was immediately cast into the outer darkness. Now "The King" being God. "We" being His guests to the wedding. "The wedding" being Heaven. We all have this open invitation to be apart of this remarkable event. But just like these guests in Jesus' parable some of us won't go because we have our own tasks to accomplish. Now some of us may even be like "the guest without any garments" who was actually the enemy! The reason why he didn't have any garments on was because he wasn't clothed with righteousness. [Ephesians 6:14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; ] When we put on the breastplate of righteousness, it becomes our garment, what covers us. & the deeds that we do thru righteousness are the things that clothe us. See we will be paid by our deeds here on Earth. & your attire to the wedding will be one major way God will pay us. I know one thing, I do not want to have on a shabby, old looking robe! I want an extravagant robe with the finest material covering me! Just as I would for my wedding on Earth, I want my wedding in Heaven to be just as nice! That's why as 2014 comes in, I'm choosing to Live Life On PURPOSE! I was PURPOSED for this! So with each year that the Lord blesses me to see, I'll take the mistakes & turn them into lessons that will turn into blessings for me to bless the next individual!
I pray that as this new year approaches, we all we go into it with a new attitude & aspect on life. If you are still doing the same things in 2014 that you were doing in 2013, I suggest you sit down & re-evaluate yourself & goals. 1st off: GET SOME GOALS! Get a vision for your life. & stop living in the past. MOVE forward & remember it's not about us! It's about JESUS!
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